Dear Dad

Dear Dad,
          Before I say anything, I want to ask you something. Why? That is what I want to know. What did we do? What happened? I remember when I was younger; I would be so excited for you to come home from work. As soon as Joshua and I heard your car pull into the driveway, we would race to see who could give you a hug first. So what happened? Why did you do this to Mom, Jessica, Joshua and I? Do you think that it will not affect us? Joshua has to grow up without a father. You are just so mean now. When you started to change into this mean, bitter and cold hearted man, I never stood up for myself against you. I would just let you scream at me and take whatever harsh words you said to me and just let them soak into my head. I started to believe the things you were saying. I will never forget the one day, about 3 years ago. We got into a huge fight when it was just us home. I was scared of what you might do or say to me. Later that day is what meant a lot to me. You told me that you would always be here for me and that you would always back me up if I was in need. It meant a lot to me. Where are you now though? I have no idea. Remember that one day when I was in sixth grade and Jessie was in eighth grade and we were at the football game and you were at home? Well, you probably do not know that I know this, but I do. You called Jessie and yelled at her for twenty minutes telling her how terrible of a child she was because she put a fork in the dishwasher wrong. You told her that she was useless and she would never go anywhere in her life. That not only hurt her, it scarred her. Forever. On father’s day this year, you blamed me for "sabotaging" your TV when I was not even home. You just kept going and going on about it because you knew it would make me mad. And, well, I had had enough. I stood up for myself and told you to stop. This fight lasted for a good hour. You in turn told me that I would never go anywhere in my life, I am a joke, I am gross and no one would ever love me because of how screwed up I am and anyone who would come into my life will eventually just walk out. When you were telling me all of this nonsense, I had had an epiphany. I finally figured it out. You are jealous. You are mad because I am going to make myself a successful individual without you. I will be better than you. I will always be better than you. Well, I already am better than you and I always have been. I will never let myself fall as low as you did yourself. I always tried to help you Dad. When the world was beating down on you, I was always there for you and told you that everything would be okay, which it could have, if you would have let it, if you would have just let me help you. I tried to be not only the daughter that you wanted, but the friend I knew you needed. You use to be so tall and strong, like you could conquer the world. I admired that about you. The one thing that I did not like was how negative you were. How you never wanted to have any fun. With this all being said, I still want everyone to be happy. I wish for everyone to live a happy life. This includes you. So what are you waiting for? Fix it. You lost a strong wife, two beautiful daughters and a handsome some. What else will you lose? Hopefully nothing! Look in your heart. Find the light. Find the happiness and joy. Find the peace. But most importantly, find you. Do not look at your physical appearance, that will not get you very far. Look inside. I hope you find happiness. I hope you find what you are looking for. May you never take one single breath for granted. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance. When you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance. If you are wondering, Mom, Jess, Josh and I are doing fantastic. Struggling financially a small bit, but we are making it. We are for once genuinely happy. Greater than ever. Once again, I hope you find happiness down this precious road of adventure we call life.  
                                                                                                  Love Your Daughter,
                                                                                                  Samantha